Soap Box

The views and opinions expressed on White Plains Soapbox are solely those written by the correspondents, and do not necessarily reflect the positions of the White Plains CitizeNetReporter, its management or principals.

Ranting Maniac is on the Scene

by Silence Dogood, Jr.

Well, we have a new president, so let's now look back on what you missed on the campaign trail:

Aside from the Reform party (Pat Buchanan, an arch-conservative), the Socialist party (David McReynolds, a Socialist), the Green Party (Ralph Nader, a sort of mean spirited guy who was a noted consumer advocate and lawyer in the 1970s who then decided that the Democrats and Republicans both stank and he should run to show who's really in charge: the people), et cetera, there were four people running for the Democratic or Republican tickets: Bill Bradley, John McCain, Al Gore, and George W. Bush.

Bill Bradley was a basketball player for the New York Knicks. He then went on to be a Senator for New Jersey. From there he went on to run for President. He is a Democrat. He basically agreed with Gore on most topics so it sort of came to "Who do we know better?" Apparently America knew the Vice President better and Bradley lost the primaries in EVERY state and dropped out of the race in March of 2000. Ironically, with the choices left, many voters were wishing they hadn't voted Bradley out.

John McCain was a war hero in Vietnam. (He had many chances to leave the Navy, but he felt it was more important to him to go out and protect America by getting involved in other country's civil wars.) He started out as a staunch Republican who was unbending in his will, when he slowly started becoming more liberal. Before we could see where this was going, he lost the primaries and dropped out in March also.

George W. Bush quickly established himself as another Dan Quayle. He said things like "The past is over." and "Rarely is the question asked: "Is our children learning?'". He called himself, under different circumstances, a small business growth(" I understand small business growth. I was one"), less ("I'm less, I pontificate less...", a first lady hopeful ("The important thing is not to be governor, or first lady in my case..."). But to give him credit, he is good at making observations("It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."). He also, in front of an open microphone, declared to his just-announced vice-president hopeful Dick Cheney that a well-known New York Times reporter was a very bad word, a word that no amount of freedom of the press could allow this newspaper to say. He was also accused of using cocaine back in the seventies. He responded to this by saying "When I was young and irresponsible, I was young and irresponsible." Later he admitted to driving drunk once, thinking people would care.

Al Gore, on the other hand, was able to get a head start (having run in 1988) on being well-known as a liar, or embellisher, or exaggerator. Whichever. Unfortunately, he didn't make funny quotes, but he did supply parodists with his "I invented the Internet" routine. While he was one of the first politicians to recognize the Internet, he did not invent it. He also followed Bill Clinton (who, he said he didn't want to be connected with), by getting Asian campaign supporters. He visited a Buddhist temple and said he had no intention of fundraising. Apparently, everyone connected with the event was under the impression that it was a fundraising trip, however Gore was quoted as saying "I did not know it was a fundraiser." What does this say for Gore? He doesn't do the work in his campaign, he's not even informed when his campaign does something?

Then in the first debate, Al Gore decided that the people were too stupid to grasp what he was saying, so he would embody the world problems in somebody he met on the campaign trail. In one debate, he said that he wanted to get Kayla Ellis, a girl who had to stand up in her science class, a desk. He also decided that people under fifty-two wouldn't understand his medical plan, so he said he would put Medicare into an "iron-clad lockbox" and he would only use it for Medicare.

George W. Bush said that Gore was "holding [Medicare] up as an issue, hoping somebody bites and then try[ing] to clobber them over the head with it for political purposes. He then decided to use a catch phrase to criticize Gore, so he repeatedly said that Gore was using "fuzzy math," and even went as far as to say "Not only did you invent the Internet, you invented the calculator." He went on to explain his tax plan, which probably made sense only to him.

Al Gore then shot back that only the top five percent of Americans would be covered by Bush's health care plan. They then both argued at each other saying that the other's health care plan would only take place four years from when they got it passed. They denied that it was true for themselves, and accused the other of the same thing.

Al Gore decided to personify the problems with Bush's health care plan as he did for education with Kayla Ellis by constantly criticizing that Bush's plan would not help George McKinney and his wife, middle class senior citizens.

I shall not even cover the second and third debates.

Then, on election night, it seemed that George W. Bush got all the states where farming is still a major industry, including Tennessee, Gore's home state which he didn't manage to win. The television networks awarded Gore the electoral votes of Florida. Florida's Governor is Jeb Bush, George W. Bush's brother. Later, they took Florida and put it back on the "Too Close to Call List." At about 2:30, they awarded Florida to Bush, but then they took it back. They had to count the absentee ballots, people who want to vote who are not in America right now, but are citizens.

Two weeks after the election it was still unclear who had won Florida. Gore demanded a recount and Gore and Bush continued to disagree about how the ballots should be counted (by hand or by computer).

After all this turmoil, the winner was ___(insert president when announced)___

Silence Dogood, Jr. is the nom de plume of a student in the White Plains Public School System.

	White Plains Soapbox
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	The views and opinions expressed on White Plains Soapbox are solely those written by the correspondents, and do not necessarily reflect the positions of the White Plains CitizeNetReporter, its management or principals.
	Silence Dogood, Jr. is back! Ranting Maniac is on the Scene by Silence Dogood, Jr. Well, we have a new president, so let's now look back on what you missed on the campaign trail: Aside from the Reform party (Pat Buchanan, an arch-conservative), the Socialist party (David McReynolds, a Socialist), the Green Party (Ralph Nader, a sort of mean spirited guy who was a noted consumer advocate and lawyer in the 1970s who then decided that the Democrats and Republicans both stank and he should run to show who's really in charge: the people), et cetera, there were four people running for the Democratic or Republican tickets: Bill Bradley, John McCain, Al Gore, and George W. Bush. Bill Bradley was a basketball player for the New York Knicks. He then went on to be a Senator for New Jersey. From there he went on to run for President. He is a Democrat. He basically agreed with Gore on most topics so it sort of came to "Who do we know better?" Apparently America knew the Vice President better and Bradley lost the primaries in EVERY state and dropped out of the race in March of 2000. Ironically, with the choices left, many voters were wishing they hadn't voted Bradley out. John McCain was a war hero in Vietnam. (He had many chances to leave the Navy, but he felt it was more important to him to go out and protect America by getting involved in other country's civil wars.) He started out as a staunch Republican who was unbending in his will, when he slowly started becoming more liberal. Before we could see where this was going, he lost the primaries and dropped out in March also. George W. Bush quickly established himself as another Dan Quayle. He said things like "The past is over." and "Rarely is the question asked: "Is our children learning?'". He called himself, under different circumstances, a small business growth(" I understand small business growth. I was one"), less ("I'm less, I pontificate less...", a first lady hopeful ("The important thing is not to be governor, or first lady in my case..."). But to give him credit, he is good at making observations("It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."). He also, in front of an open microphone, declared to his just-announced vice-president hopeful Dick Cheney that a well-known New York Times reporter was a very bad word, a word that no amount of freedom of the press could allow this newspaper to say. He was also accused of using cocaine back in the seventies. He responded to this by saying "When I was young and irresponsible, I was young and irresponsible." Later he admitted to driving drunk once, thinking people would care. Al Gore, on the other hand, was able to get a head start (having run in 1988) on being well-known as a liar, or embellisher, or exaggerator. Whichever. Unfortunately, he didn't make funny quotes, but he did supply parodists with his "I invented the Internet" routine. While he was one of the first politicians to recognize the Internet, he did not invent it. He also followed Bill Clinton (who, he said he didn't want to be connected with), by getting Asian campaign supporters. He visited a Buddhist temple and said he had no intention of fundraising. Apparently, everyone connected with the event was under the impression that it was a fundraising trip, however Gore was quoted as saying "I did not know it was a fundraiser." What does this say for Gore? He doesn't do the work in his campaign, he's not even informed when his campaign does something? Then in the first debate, Al Gore decided that the people were too stupid to grasp what he was saying, so he would embody the world problems in somebody he met on the campaign trail. In one debate, he said that he wanted to get Kayla Ellis, a girl who had to stand up in her science class, a desk. He also decided that people under fifty-two wouldn't understand his medical plan, so he said he would put Medicare into an "iron-clad lockbox" and he would only use it for Medicare. George W. Bush said that Gore was "holding [Medicare] up as an issue, hoping somebody bites and then try[ing] to clobber them over the head with it for political purposes. He then decided to use a catch phrase to criticize Gore, so he repeatedly said that Gore was using "fuzzy math," and even went as far as to say "Not only did you invent the Internet, you invented the calculator." He went on to explain his tax plan, which probably made sense only to him. Al Gore then shot back that only the top five percent of Americans would be covered by Bush's health care plan. They then both argued at each other saying that the other's health care plan would only take place four years from when they got it passed. They denied that it was true for themselves, and accused the other of the same thing. Al Gore decided to personify the problems with Bush's health care plan as he did for education with Kayla Ellis by constantly criticizing that Bush's plan would not help George McKinney and his wife, middle class senior citizens. I shall not even cover the second and third debates. Then, on election night, it seemed that George W. Bush got all the states where farming is still a major industry, including Tennessee, Gore's home state which he didn't manage to win. The television networks awarded Gore the electoral votes of Florida. Florida's Governor is Jeb Bush, George W. Bush's brother. Later, they took Florida and put it back on the "Too Close to Call List." At about 2:30, they awarded Florida to Bush, but then they took it back. They had to count the absentee ballots, people who want to vote who are not in America right now, but are citizens. Two weeks after the election it was still unclear who had won Florida. Gore demanded a recount and Gore and Bush continued to disagree about how the ballots should be counted (by hand or by computer). After all this turmoil, the winner was ___(insert president when announced)___ Silence Dogood, Jr. is the nom de plume of a student in the White Plains Public School System.

White Plains Soapbox

Silence Dogood, Jr. is back!

Ranting Maniac is on the Scene

by Silence Dogood, Jr.