WPCNR'S THE REAL DEAL By The Wedding Jeannie, Jeannie Uyanik of Cap and Gown Weddings with Elizabeth West. June 1, 2008: Last week we gave you the rules of thumb for a successful rehearsal dinner. This week, contributor Elizabeth West is going to offer some creative ideas and real world examples that readers can easily implement into their own rehearsal dinner design concepts.  Here's Liz...

Many brides are faced with the challenge of designing a creative and fun wedding without turning it into a sweet sixteen or an over-the-top Bat Mitzvah. With all the coordinating napkins, invitations, bubbles, and favors available, the wedding can quickly go from chic to something that looks like it came out of a Hello Kitty™ store.  And while I can appreciate a clever and whimsical idea, I usually tell brides that the best place for those ideas is at the rehearsal dinner.  Since everyone is usually a bit nervous with anticipation of the big day, it’s the perfect time to create an event that’s fun, relaxed, and personal.

Generally speaking, the actual wedding day is about the bride.  The groom can easily blend in with the other groomsmen and basically has one job- to show up.  This is why I often recommend making the rehearsal dinner more groom focused.  It’s the time to pay homage to the men in your life.  Often for the wedding, the groom’s ideas get instantly vetoed or overlooked (and sometimes rightly so).  So if you have to budge- why not do it with the rehearsal dinner?  It often can result in a fantastic and meaningful event.

We did this recently with a couple named Noelle and Thomas.  The bride confessed that she had ruled the decision making process for the wedding day, so she loosened the reins and allowed the rehearsal dinner to reflect the personalities of some important men in her life: the groom, her father, and the groom’s father. 

The bride’s father had a signature dish that he loved to make, a southern specialty called Shrimp n’ Grits.  When guests took their seats, there was a white bag of grits at each place setting.  Attached to the bag on the front was the evening’s dinner menu and on the back was a custom recipe card for her father’s Shrimp n Grits.  It was an inexpensive way to highlight a family favorite recipe, a great way to display the menu and a super favor for the guests- especially the ones from out of town. 

The music for the evening was inspired by the groom’s father.  A man of the 50’s and 60’s, he enjoyed the classics like Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash and Dean Martin.  So the couple created a song list for the evening that featured many of his favorite tunes.  And to let the guests in on the significance of the music, they included a note at the bottom of the menu card.  This was an understated but much appreciated gesture from the couple to the groom’s father.  And many of the older guests unexpectedly got into the nostalgia of the music and were so excited not be listening to The Black Eyed Peas! 

When it came to the dessert, it was a no brainer.  Since the groom was born and raised in NY, he was a lover of cheesecake.  So the couple did a trio of gourmet cheesecakes that would please almost any guest:  traditional NY style, pumpkin, and Turtle Cheesecake.  And as a last minute surprise, the bride had a custom groom’s cake brought out.  The groom happened to be a physician, so it was in the shape of a giant scrubs top.  It was a hit with the guests and a special treat for the groom from his bride.

Focusing on the groom is just one route you can go for inspiration.  Another option is allowing the details of the wedding to dictate what the rehearsal dinner should be like.  In 2006, we planned a black tie wedding at the W Hotel in midtown NYC.  Everything was super modern, sleek and very night-club like.  So for the rehearsal dinner, the couple went in the opposite direction.  They literally had beer and pizza in a classic New York pizzeria in Little Italy.  This offered the wedding party an intimate time before the big day to be relaxed and to enjoy being together without any unnecessary fanfare. 

The opposite works as well!  Several years ago we had a bride that was from a small community where she was very well known and loved.  Not wanting to hurt any feelings, she hosted a large wedding under a tent at her parent’s home.  The wedding was elegant but extremely relaxed.  The food was all served on stations and the event just flowed naturally.  The couple still wanted to treat their closest friends and family to a spectacular dinner.  So the night before, they bought out a local restaurant and served a decadent five course dinner to these special guests.  They presented each guest with a unique gift and used that night to make all toasts and speeches.  The next day was truly just for celebration and having fun!