WPCNR'S THE REAL DEAL By The Wedding Jeannie, Jeannie Uyanik. November 3, 2007: Last week’s column alluded to the second biggest regret (video) that often arises after an event is planned.  Unfortunately though, it’s not even close to the first that we hear from brides, grooms, and other clients planning any kind of event – BEING LATE to your own party. 

Of course, it never happens to our clients, but it takes a great deal of effort to make sure of that.  It seems so silly really.  Many people doubt it can happen to them, wonder how it ever happens at all, and certainly believe when they are the guests sitting waiting for the guest of honor to arrive (who is already 25 minutes late)  that it’s ridiculous.  And it is. 

Think about the expense, agony, stress and excitement that goes into planning any large event and it would seem counterintuitive that you wouldn’t manage to arrive on time (even if that is late – late in a fashionable and planned manner). 

But, statistics and surveys all point to the same figures – 50% of brides are late on their wedding day.  45% of other types of major events (where the budget is over $10,000) have one major person in the family show up more than 30 minutes late.  And by late, we don’t mean 10 minutes.  Late to the point of regret is generally 20 minutes or more. 

 It throws your whole day, night and schedule off.  It costs a LOT of money to be late for a wedding.  Think about this; if you are late to your wedding by 30 minutes and you in turn decide that you just want to push the whole thing back in order not to shorten the day, here are a few of the costs that you will inevitably have to pick up.

Overtime Costs

1)      Additional labor costs for the venue – because their staff definitely was on time greeting your guests

2)      Additional time on the open bar – while you might not need to serve extra food, its in poor taste to keep a party running and shut off the taps

3)      Additional time for your photographer/videographer if the last ½ hour of the event was going to feature a big moment (dance, cake cutting, departure, etc).

4)      Additional time for the music – DJ or Band – because much like cutting off the alcohol, a party without music looses its flavor

5)      Waiting time for buses or limos if they have been reserved for specific times

Timeline Life Saver

But, all of these things are nothing compared to the stress that a late host feels.  Whenever you are late to an event you have planned, there are feelings of frustration, sadness, irritation at everyone and most importantly, regret that you did not do things differently.

So how to avoid all of that?  Simple.  Put together a time line – the more precise the better – as soon as you have all of your vendors in place for an event.  For a wedding, the first things that you have to back out are the invitation times, the venue start and end times and the hair and makeup times.  Everything else will fall into place around those.  Car, travel, photographer arrival – everything will be easier to plug in once you know the basics. 

You Can Never Be Too Detailed

The more detailed your schedule is, the more ability you and everyone around you will have to

a) make comments as to why one thing or another might need more time and in turn, change

b) adapt, prepare and execute accordingly.  It’s not stupid to put minutia in like when you are going to shower.  Difficult to believe – but yes, showering when you are surrounded by your closest friends and family ends up being difficult to force yourself to do! 

Once the schedule is together – as early as possible in the planning process – send it around to the major players.  Send it to your family, send it to vendors and lie about arrival times if you find a certain group tends to be late. 

For instance, a rehearsal usually takes no more than 10 minutes.  We have however found that we spend at least half an hour waiting for the primary participants to arrive.  Avoid this situation by calling for a rehearsal time at 4:00pm knowing that you really want to start at 4:30pm.  The bridal party will have much more fun standing around catching up with everyone than you would if you were waiting for them all to arrive.  It’s your day, so what if everyone has to wait for you. 

The Importance of  Slack

The best rule of thumb when scheduling an event is to leave plenty of time for everything to get done and remember that the unexpected can happen so always schedule a cushion.  When we sit with our clients, they will often wonder why we schedule an hour to get from point A to point B when it usually takes 20 minutes.  We want to be sure that if there is traffic, if there is an accident, if the limo driver gets a flat tire, we have time to fix it or to allow the schedule to absorb the delay seamlessly. 

Don’t plan for things the way you would on an ordinary day.  If you have to pick up something on the day of the event, assume that it will take you twice as long – if you end up having extra time, great.  You will have more time for relaxation and less time for stress and worry.  And, there is a statistical correlation between Murphy’s Law and big events. 

Things don’t just miraculously go wrong when you most need them to go right.  Generally, things go wrong because there are a lot more pieces to put together than usual, there is a lot more “fumbling” and there is a lot less cushion. 

While scheduling the day itself is supremely important, you will find that scheduling your planning is just as useful.  In particular, people are often surprised at how much time picking out stationery and all the paper pieces used at events can take. 

We will provide guidelines on how to maneuver this process seamlessly next week, but in the meantime, use the scheduling rules for all the tasks that you need to complete during planning too, so that there are no regrets at the end!  

Note: Got a question or a comment for the Wedding Jeannie? Ms. Uyanik will answer your questions. Simply e-mail her at weddinggenie@candgweddings.com