WPCNR THE SUNDAY BAILEY. News Commentary By John F. Bailey. June 10, 2007: The city’s former Executive Officer, George Gretsas, who introduced quality of life issues to the city of White Plains, including clean streets, and the gum removal machine, is currently City Manager of Fort Lauderdale. He has introduced another breakthrough in quality of life that not only offers the ingenious ability to serve a public need, but offers , if White Plains should follow the Fort Lauderdale lead, on this issue, a revenue stream.
The innovation: A Robotic Public Restroom.
WPCNR wants to thank the devoted George Gretsas fan who sent along this breakthrough innovation by the charismatic Mr. G. There are many in White Plains who miss Mr. Gretsas forward-looking vision and who monitor his progress bringing progress, justice and order to Florida’s Gold Coast. Struck by the pioneering robotic Public Restroom initiative, one of the “Gretsasians” sent along Brittany Wallman’s Florida Sun-Sentinel story on the latest Gretsas brainstorm. The story can be viewed at www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-ctoilet07jun08,0,126859.story
Not dependent on development!
Currently, White Plains a city in such financial trouble that they cut developers multi-million tax breaks, sell land for a fraction of its real value, and raise taxes 7% a year in the face of 3% inflation, has not found a way to tax citizens on natural body functions.
But, the Fort Lauderdale innovation of the public toilet could change this, and it is a self-determination tax! Only you decide whether you pay it or not! What a concept!
Briefly, the robotic public toilet is a large toilet chamber that is being considered for the Fort Lauderdale beaches.
The toilet costs $250,000, (little more than the White Plains trolley study, being paid for by the state; considerably more than the fire clock study White Plains itself paid for, and the Ernst and Young study of the City Center halo effect which to date has fallen, shall we say, way short of expectations?).
The Robotic Public Toilet (currently in use in Atlanta, Seattle, and San Francisco, and New York), whisks the user into a disciplined toilet experience.
According to Ms. Wallman’s story in the Fort Lauderdale paper, the big stainless steel chamber resembling an operating room issues a set number of toilet paper squares (set by city officials – perhaps Fort Lauderdale is considering a Department of Public Sanitation Facilities) – perhaps Ernst & Young can do a study on the appropriate amount of toilet paper squares the average person should be entitled to.
The Robotic Public Toilet has an interesting twist which the ladies might find useful. It sets a time limit to the duration of your visit. If you have not completed your visit in the allowed time, the automatic door opens and a disembodied voice tells you to leave. If you do not vacate the toilet immediately it sounds an alarm and notifies police. The toilet set retracts into the wall and cleans itself for the next user and the floor cleans itself.
WPCNR sees infinite possibilities for substantial city revenues from a White Plains Robotic Toilet Fleet. Talk about rolling stock! Ten of these – a mere $2.5 Million could handle White Plains Athletic Fields, our weekly parades, and of course – the big July fireworks crowd.
The Robotic Public Toilet comes with the option of charging patrons for entry! The Common Council should take note (no more having to sell city land to make ends meet by charging the 55,000 ends that reside in White Plains.
The Mayor could record a message (the machine has a verbal greeting as you enter the steel chamber) welcoming you to the White Plains Comfort Station. The Commissioner of Public Safety could record the message telling the dawdling customer to leave now. "Please step away from the toilet sir, and I need you to leave the premises in 30 seconds."
And during election season the city could change the toilet welcome messages and sell time to candidates running for office. (What an appropriate venue for a politician to make a promise to citizens – a public restroom!). Message time could be sold on the recording messages inside the chamber to a truly captive audience.
The machine could charge for toilet paper by the piece. Perhaps $1 for the initial visit and 25 cents per toilet paper square beyond the allotted amount you get free. Or – here’s a twist – if you need more time, charge an extra $1. Or a joint arrangement could be made with the Department of Parking to give out $15 tickets over overstaying your time.
Another bizarre twist that only the Department of Parking can appreciate: the City of White Plains could sell Elimination Passes granting a certain number of visits to the Public Robotic Toilet over the course of a year – or, in a stroke of genius -- charge differing rates for the elimination process undertaken.
It would improve quality of life: no more messy toilet paper on the floor of the portosans or the public entering Trotters or Vintage or Famiglia looking for a restroom. In fact the robotic toilet civilizes the away from home elimination experience.
This is recession proof. A built-in market. Once again White Plains sees how it misses the Gretsas Midas Touch.
As Mr. Gretsas says in Ms. Wallman’s story: “This is the grand experiment some folks on the (Fort Lauderdale) Beach have been asking for.”
The simple genius of the robotic toilet is definitely something White Plains should look into.
Every facet of the elimination experience could be turned into a revenue stream.
Oh, and another suggestion, the air is next.
After all, if you can charge for air rights, why doesn't White Plains charge you a breathing tax?
